THE FOURTH ELEMENT: FINESSE

finesse (n) : Refinement and delicacy of performance, execution, or artisanship

By now you've realized that many of these elements are very similar terms and carry similar definitions as each other. The first three elements, bearing, presence, and manner add together to stand for essentially the same thing: the way you carry yourself. They apply to a person's behavior. People judge other people on their behavior, especially since it reveals many distinctive personal qualities regarding their individuality or upbringing. As mentioned before, it is a subconscious habit to relate a new experience (for example, meeting someone new) with past experiences (people you've known or known of).

Suave. Smooth. Finesse. This is how you want to go about your act. You will need to think along these lines when focusing on presence, on bearing, on manner. You shouldn't be able to tell where one ends and the other begins. They should all merge into one, each small bodies coming together to form a smooth liquid unity.

Finesse: The Tricks of the Trade
Never seem to be in a hurry - hurrying betrays a lack of control over yourself, and over time.
Always seem patient, as if you know that everything will come to you eventually.

Your actions must seem natural and executed with ease - so when you act, act effortlessly, as if you could do much more. Cloak your focus on the elements (which will more than likely seem intense when you first start practicing the art) with outward cheerfulness and liveliness. Never let them see you sweat.

Practice being subtle ("subtle," as used here, means 'So slight as to be difficult to detect or analyze; elusive.').

THE THIRD ELEMENT: MANNER

manner (n) : a way of acting or behaving

If your presence and regal bearing have given women the impression that you're an important person and that you're considered an important person by others, manner, as we use it here, refers to how you act and behave in relation. What, then, is the manner of a charismatic persona?
You put thought into your words and actions - you base what you do and say on how the other person will most likely react.

Before speaking to a person, you ask yourself:
How is this person going to interpret my next few words?
What kind of effect are they going to have? What effect is it that I'm going for? Will I sound like I know what I'm talking about? Or will I sound like a fool? Will I sound confident? Or will I sound cocky?
Will I sound sincere, or will I sound fake? Will I come across as a good conversationalist, someone who listens more than he speaks? Or will I seem as though I talk too much and therefore am not a good conversationalist?

A charismatic persona is thought of as being a good conversationalist, among other things, and for you to continue to give off the aura of charisma that you initially gave off with your presence and regal bearing, then you need to be good at conversation. If you foul up the conversation process, then your whole charismatic presence and regal bearing are thrown out the window. And now that this woman has met you, she's made a new judgement of you. On the other hand, if you are (or at least seem to be) an exceptional conversationalist, the charismatic effect that you are going for will only be heightened.

THE SECOND ELEMENT: REGAL BEARING

bearing (n) : The manner in which one carries or conducts oneself

The most inclusive of the elements, bearing applies to both physical posture and general conduct: "He has the poise and bearing of a champion."

Bearing: Standing Tall
The way you carry yourself will often determine how you are treated. If you carry yourself as if you're a person aware of social graces, and if you carry yourself as if you're a person of prestige (you're used to having respect), for the most part you will be regarded in the same fashion. Act like an important person to be treated like one.

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THE FIRST ELEMENT: PRESENCE

The first element of charisma is Presence

Presence, as used here, refers to the quality of commanding respectful attention.
To further define presence, think of it more specifically as how you carry yourself. Picture a Lotus in a parking lot of Fords. The Lotus stands alone - as an Italian sports car, it's sleek and stylishly detailed compared to the conservative and boring Fords. It's not moving, it's not talking - it's not doing a thing and yet you've taken notice of it because of its detailed features. That is presence.

So what do you need to do create presence?
The following steps will get you will on your way:

Image is Everything: So Pay Attention to Detail
Dress in a style that is considered fashionable. Wear clothes that will get you compliments. You care about your image and it shows.

Your hair should be clean-cut and matching with current "GQ" styles. And yes, keep your face clean-shaven - this reflects youth. Your complexion should be healthy - Tan, but not too much. Your posture should make you appear to be confident and at ease with your surroundings.

Flaunt a sincere, friendly smile at strategic intervals (but don't over do it - learn to read when it is called for, and when it's not).

A sincere, friendly smile is a strong weapon. It breaks the ice, tears down people's walls, automatically paints you as a person of high self-esteem and confidence.
What is your mind set? You are in a situation that requires a strong focus on tact and diplomacy. Meaning, knowing when to speak, and what to say when you speak, knowing when not to speak, and knowing how to carry yourself throughout.

How do your eyes follow the crowd? As if you're disinterested (meaning, you're not paying too much attention to any one person) - and that's because you feel that their is nobody worthy of your attention. In other words, you're never "star-struck" because you are the star. In the end, you're goal is to give off the impression that you're a prestigious person accustomed to ranking high in social circles - not even the blonde-bombshell walking by can shake this poise. You may cast a glance, but you're to prestigious to stare. *People around you WILL notice this and subconsciously decide that you ARE a person of prestige.

In a world where most people lack a high level of self-respect, it is easy to stand out when you have it and it shows. And if you don't have a high level of self-respect (again, like most), then fake it. Take note - the trick to faking it is to fake it with sincerity (this will be repeated further along).

By themselves, these simple details regarding a positive, prestigious self-image don't accomplish much, but when packaged together they merge for great effect. And now you've created "presence."

For the most part, how you are regarded by others is how people you come into contact with will regard you. But if they don't know you from Adam, if you're a complete stranger to them, then they will subconsciously prejudge you and form an early opinion of you before EVEN MEETING YOU.
It is human instinct to look for patterns in the world around us. It is psychological, it is subconscious. We relate the situations we're presented with based on our passed experiences.

When creating an aura of charisma, you're using this instinct to your advantage (which most people can't control because they're unaware that it is something happening in their subconscious).

Here's an analogy:
If you look like a thug, you'll be prejudged as probably being a thug. If you look like your gay, you'll be prejudged as probably being gay. And if you look like a charismatic person used to respect and even admiration, you will be prejudged as a person who is probably charismatic and worthy of respect and even admiration.

Once you've been prejudged, it's that much easier to create the effect that you're after. Notice that we used the word "probably" in the above paragraph? We use the word "probably" to represent the other person's expectations. This is what he or she expects. And because they expect it, now it's that much easier to give it to them.
Many elements make up charisma; presence is but one. Most people don't understand the charismatic persona and can only assume that it comes naturally to some people. Maybe for a very rare and select few. For the rest of us, it is an acquired art - something that we practice in our daily encounters with others until it is developed over time.

Charisma opens many doors and will get you into many places otherwise far off limits. It is a very influential tool when you want something. Of the three arts we go over, Charisma is the most powerful. We discuss it in-depth first because the other two arts require it to be truly effective (interestingly, charisma, and how it applies to meeting and dating women, is overlooked in even the most popular self-help books on the current market.)

THE SEVEN ELEMENTS OF CHARISMA

IT'S THE SAME OLD SCENARIO :
You and your friends want to hang out and go to a club, but you want a club where the women are attractive and have some class. There might be twenty or so nightclubs to choose from, but with standards like these you really only have four or five. And forget it - as much as your optimistic-adrenaline-testosterone self would like to believe, there is no such place as "Club Orgy." Bar hop all night, and you'll come closer to finding The Lost City of Atlantis before you'll find a club where the women that you've set your standards for are down for the one night action you've got on your mind.

Unless of course you've got some serious game. "Game" translates in all cultures to a similar state of mind: Charisma. But what exactly is Charisma? We'll tell you what it's not - It's not arrogance. And it's not pretentiousness. It's an aura that surrounds you, that attracts people to you. Great leaders in history understood this - Hitler entranced the small country of Germany into following him in a pursuit of World Domination. The greatest con artists used charisma to lull their victims into sometimes giving up fortunes and life savings. And actor's on screen portray it in their carefully written lines and parts, when in all reality they may lack true charisma off the set. Brad Pitt has charisma on the screen - and you can bet that he's not as charismatic off it. And remember Tom Cruise in Top Gun - every guy wanted to be like him for years after that movie came out.

Both of these actors are American icons, their on-screen personas developed over the years by numerous writers, directors, and people paid to teach "presence." You know, the same kind of people that instruct run-way models how to enter a room and command the attention of all just by the way they carry themselves.

Maybe an easy way to make the word charisma understandable is to define it as knowing when to speak, and what to say when you speak, knowing when not to speak, and knowing how to carry yourself throughout. This takes discipline, which is acquired with practice. Actors are expected to rehearse the same parts over and over again to get things just right for the camera. Writers re-write their pieces sometimes repeatedly before their scripts are finally approved to begin a film shoot.

As an example of what we mention above, look hard at the fine detail that Hollywood uses to craft the "on-screen presence" of a main or central character. A main or central character must command attention throughout the film to hold the audience's interest. The more attention they command, through elements of intrigue, mystery, and action, the greater their on-screen presence (also referred to as persona). Many elements go in to this "on-screen presence" - these are elements of charisma.

But this is real life, not Hollywood. In reality, and as charisma applies to the social scene and to the women involved in the social scene, it's all about diplomacy.